Electronic Babysitter, My Ass

When I was pregnant, my feelings about kids and TV were just like every other overeducated upper-middle-class mom's: "My child isn't going to watch TV! No sirree!"

Since having Snookums, of course, I've done a total 180. Now I'm like, "Let's turn on the TV and see what's on! Then I can have five minutes to myself."

Only problem is, IT DOESN'T WORK.

Snookums will look at the screen for 30 seconds max, then she runs back into the kitchen shrieking, "Mami! Mami!" and clinging to my leg like a barnacle. Meanwhile, I'm either a) pouring a boiling pot of spaghetti into the strainer, or b) holding an electric drill in my hand as I try to childproof another knife drawer.

I've tried Sesame Street, Curious George, even those dumb Baby Einstein videos with the hand puppets. She's indifferent to all of them.

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends NO TV at all for the first two years of a child's life. I remember reading that right after Snookums was born and thinking, "Oh, no! Guess I'll have to stop watching Charlie Rose while Snookums is nursing!"

Nowadays, of course, I'll watch back-to-back episodes of Boston Legal or Criminal Intent while I try to get her to go to sleep. Bring on the inappropriate language, bloody corpses, guns . . . none of it makes any difference.

Maybe full-frontal nudity? Except that would probably just make her hungry.

First DYHV Celebrity Sighting!

I was walking up Sixth Avenue from my office today during lunch, when who did I spot sitting at an outdoor table at the Belgian restaurant on the corner? Richard Belzer, from that Law & Order spinoff, SVU or SUV or whatever it's called.

I realized as I was writing this post that the only celebrities I've seen in New York are from Law & Order: Chris Noth (whom, most remember as Mr. Big from Sex and the City, but who'll always be Det. Logan to me) and (before he died, obviously) Jerry Orbach -- also, strangely enough, at Markt, when it was in a different location.

Before Snookums was born I saw Anderson Cooper at 23rd St. and 7th Avenue. He is very, very short.

Richard Belzer was very, very tall. He's also better looking in person than on TV. Not that that's saying much.