Saturday, May 30, 2009

Electronic Babysitter, My Ass

When I was pregnant, my feelings about kids and TV were just like every other overeducated upper-middle-class mom's: "My child isn't going to watch TV! No sirree!"

Since having Snookums, of course, I've done a total 180. Now I'm like, "Let's turn on the TV and see what's on! Then I can have five minutes to myself."

Only problem is, IT DOESN'T WORK.

Snookums will look at the screen for 30 seconds max, then she runs back into the kitchen shrieking, "Mami! Mami!" and clinging to my leg like a barnacle. Meanwhile, I'm either a) pouring a boiling pot of spaghetti into the strainer, or b) holding an electric drill in my hand as I try to childproof another knife drawer.

I've tried Sesame Street, Curious George, even those dumb Baby Einstein videos with the hand puppets. She's indifferent to all of them.

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends NO TV at all for the first two years of a child's life. I remember reading that right after Snookums was born and thinking, "Oh, no! Guess I'll have to stop watching Charlie Rose while Snookums is nursing!"

Nowadays, of course, I'll watch back-to-back episodes of Boston Legal or Criminal Intent while I try to get her to go to sleep. Bring on the inappropriate language, bloody corpses, guns . . . none of it makes any difference.

Maybe full-frontal nudity? Except that would probably just make her hungry.


Goody 2 Shoes said...

LOL This post cracks me up. I have all the luck: my kindergartener is a TV junkie; Dad loves spending quality time w kids watching back to back videos of Star Wars I thought 5.... Nothing like 6 hours of TV for those developing minds!

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Caren Begun said...

I was one of those moms, too, who thought I would never expose my child to TV before the age of two. Our daughter gets some, very limited TV use. We have found great benefit with a program called Baby Can Read. While I love Curious George (oh the childhood memories) it was not enough to keep her interested nor were shows like Sesame Street or Little People. My sister as well as other mom friends mentioned Baby Can Read and we are hooked. Our daughter loves it, asks for it, get's it only on a limited basis and she's learning too. The great part about these videos is that they come with fabulous books too that help to expand learning and her vocabulary. Maybe Baby Can Read would work for you.

casapinka said...

No, no, no. You need to combine it with drugs. Benadryl and t.v. - Snookums will be all over it.