Monday, October 20, 2008

If Babies Could Talk

Like a lot of mothers, I often think, "If only Snookums could talk! I can't wait till she talks!" But today I realized what life would be like if she actually could talk: 

Me: Snookums, I'm home!

Snookums: (screams) YAY!!!! MOMMY'S HOME!!!! NOW I GET MILK!!! MILK MILK MILK MILK MILK MILK MILK MILK!!!!! 

Me: OK, just a minute. Let me wash my hands and take off my coat. 

Snookums: NO!!!! Want milk NOW!! NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW!!!! (Crawls over to me and starts tearing my blouse open.) 

Me: OK, OK, OK. Just a sec. (Opens bra, removes breast.) 

Snookums: YAY!!! MILK WHITE THIRSTY GOOD WHITE WHITE WHITE... (Puts nipple in mouth. Stops talking.) 

(Five minutes pass.) 

Snookums: (Pushes away breast, stares at nipple.) Need MORE MILK!!!! MORE MORE MORE MORE!!!! (Pulls my hair, pinches me.) MORE MILK NOW!!!!! 

1 comment:

goody2shoes said...

In just a few more months, Snookums will be filling in her own parts of the "conversation!" which is really a monologue.