Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Breasts Breasts Breasts!

So I just read a blog about how to make people visit your blog more, which I'm desperately trying to do since NO ONE READS THIS DAMN THING. Anyway, it suggested that after you have a spike in traffic responding to a particular post, you should do a follow-up post on the same topic.

Not surprisingly, yesterday's post about breasts -- tits, ta-tas, hooters, funbags, whatever you want to call them -- got a "spike," if you can call 17 readers a "spike." So here I am, trying to think of something else to write about breasts.

Did you know Gwyneth Paltrow had a boob job? You can read about it here -- but I warn you: It's one of those annoying "Did she or didn't she?" type posts. Anyway, if she did it was for professional reasons: She goes topless in her latest movie.

And here's more news about boob jobs: They're becoming more and more common among men, at least in the UK.

Finally, here is concrete proof that I don't live in the real America: I've never heard the word "breastaurant," apparently a commonly used term for eateries in the Hooters mold, such as Twin Peaks or Bone Daddy's (neither of which I ever heard of either).

Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to go strap some mini-vacuum cleaners to my own breasts and suck the milk out so I can freeze it and feed it to my baby at some later date.


Goody 2 Shoes said...

what a timely topic! it is like you have read my mind (and seen the boobs there). What about the "grand tetons", and other mountain ranges named after nipples and breasts? Remind your readers to do their monthly BSE, too.

Joseph LeMay said...

It almost makes me wish I lived in TX. We have a Hooters up here in Milford, CT. I've never been. You know they have a Hawaiian Tropic restaurant in Times Square? It was just in the news.

Joan Novark said...

Goody2Shoes: I let Snookums do my monthly BSEs for me.

Joe: I think there's a Hooters in Manhattan too. At least, there used to be. I will NEVER take Snookums to one of these places because she would just get too hungry...