Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Stroke of Genius

This morning, I received the following email from a PR flack in Argentina:


Good evening,

I am in charge of the Press department at Hospital Universitario Austral. I am sending you this press release so you can learn about the relationship between the waistline measurement and stroke risk, based on a study recently published in Stroke magazine.

Thank you.


Mariana Israel.


Waist Size, Indicator of Stroke Risk

Waistline measurement should not be greater than 102 cm in men and 88 cm in women.

For a while now, research has been done on the relationship of obesity with coronary heart diseases. A new study published in December in Stroke magazine shows that overweight means also a greater risk of suffering a stroke.

[. . . ]


Some questions:

1. Mariana, why are you sending me this email? Are you telling me I'm too fat?

2. Why do you say "Good evening" when you sent the press release this morning? (And don't think I'm going to fall for that time zone excuse -- the time difference between New York and Buenos Aires is negligible.)

3. Do you realize how HUGE "88 cm" sounds? This is why the metric system sucks, and why fat-ass Americans don't use it.

4. If I wear a slimming, all-black ensemble, will it prevent me from having a stroke?

5. What about vertical stripes?

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